You Got a Friend

Okay, that was James Taylor, but he’s got the right idea.

Lee-Anne Hancock

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James Taylor, pictured in 2018. Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images

I sat writing this post thinking of how much I loved the songs of James Taylor, Yes, they were sad but they were upbeat at the same time. One of my favorite songs was You got a friend in me. It made me think of how important having a friend can be in life. Some people go through life and always have friends around. Some people feel very lonely and have a hard time finding a real friend.

Want a friend, be a friend

I am someone that has never had a lot of friends until later in life. When I was quite young I was very shy and didn’t know how to make friends. As I grew older I became more outgoing but felt that as long as I had one or two friends I was happy.

I was always happy with being by myself. I still need to have time on my own but have learned that the way to make a friend is to be a friend.

Of course, it helps that I am an extrovert and always like to participate. But what if you aren’t that way? What if you are shy and uncomfortable in groups? What if after retirement you have moved and are in a new environment?

What helps some people, is to remove the focus from themselves. Some people want to just be in the background … but want to be there just the same. So what to do?

We all know how many organizations or charities need help. Well here is your chance. Sign up for the newcomer’s group. If you have just moved to a new area the newcomer’s group is ideal. Meet other people who are also new and trying to meet others. They can offer numerous groups to join or places to find out about things you might like to pursue.

Want to feel more confident to speak up when you feel strongly about something. There are a lot of Toastmaster groups to join. You can go a few times to try them out. Each group has a focus. My husband belongs to two. He has belonged to a project management group for quite some time and when we moved after retirement he joined a wine appreciation group (Finding Vino!). These are great ways to find and be a friend.

Have a charity that is close to your heart. I am sure they can use volunteers. Doing something for someone else can not only be a way to find new friends but the feeling…

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Lee-Anne Hancock

Retired Poison Control Specialist. Now writing murder mysteries and blogging about life, family, and the fun of retirement.