Thank you for having the courage to write about what is going on. It can feel like you are the only one with these kinds of health issues. Reading about how you are blaming yourself is helping us all realize we tend to beat our selves up over things we can't control, or things from the past. It doesn't help but we do it anyways. Reading how you plan to see a therapist to deal with that is reassuring.

Best of luck on this new unplanned journey. You are in my prayers.