My mother died 5 years ago at the age of 92. She developed dementia the last 3–4 years of her life and frequently did not recognize me as I lived a couple of hours away and could only see her every 6 weeks or so. She was not an addict, but a great mum and I thought that I would have done my grieving before her death as she was not my mother anymore. Wrong. I developed mild depression and needed to work on this after her death. It took me 7 months to figure out why I was depressed and then 6 more months of work to get back to my normal.
One can’t think they can just walk through the grieving process. Your mother was your “Mother” and that needs to be dealt with. It isn’t easy but it can work. My biggest regret is that she will never see that I have had greater success in my life since she has died that all the years before. My confidence came from her.