I think everyone has there own way to deal with their weight, no matter their size. I was so tired of always having to think about it. I just wanted to live my life and not be constantly thinking about it.
Over the last year and a half, I have lost 12 -14 lbs and now I am not dieting, just trying to eat more healthy and stabilize my weight for a while. It seems that I forever go back to my weight of 175 lbs whenever I stop dieting. This time I would drop 3–4 lbs then just maintain there, maybe up and down a couple of lbs for a while. Then I would do it again after a while so that my returning weight has slowly been going down. I now feel I can lose the remaining 15 lbs slowly as I seem to be in charge.
I think it may happen that I will always have to be aware of my weight but that’s ok if I can stay at a healthy weight. That weight will be mine to determine and be happy at.